Friday night: April 4th. The evening started out with us texting Shelby to talk about baby’s name. We had decided that we really wanted to change it from Elsa (we hate frozen) to something else. It was quite stressful coming to that conclusion and then having to talk to Shelby about it. She was understandably a little upset because we had all already bonded with the name. We decided that we would travel to Neenah the next day to meet Shelby for lunch and pick a new name together. Later that night at around 10:15 I took some nyquil because I had been feeling sick that day (I would soon regret this!). Around 10:30 I got a call from Barb, Shelby’s mom. I figured she was calling to talk with us about the name and reassure us everything would be okay. Nope, she was calling because Shelby was having back pains and it was back labor. We’d been waiting for this call for days, but I was still somehow surprised! It was happening!
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| Walking the halls with Shelby |
We had a whirlwind of showering, packing (I’d been nagging Jonathan for days to pack his bag but he of course left it till the last minute) and getting everything in the car. Shelby got to the hospital with her family around midnight and we arrived about an hour later. We just hung out, walked the hallways with her and spent quality time together. She had a whole entourage there with her! Shelby was getting penicillin every 4 hours because she had tested positive for strep. It was VERY painful for her, especially the first dose. Her labor wasn’t picking up quickly so we decided to all get a little sleep. Craig and Barb invited us back to their house because we wouldn’t get our hospital room until the baby was born. Shelby’s good friend, Violet, stayed at the hospital with her. We got about 4 hours of sleep and woke up to Craig cooking us a breakfast feast. The four of us sat around the table together and shared a meal. That memory is one I’ll always cherish, the feeling of family.
We got to the hospital and learned that they were considering sending Shelby home to labor since she wasn’t progressing quickly. Her options were to go home and come back when her contractions picked up or be induced. I can imagine this was a hard decision for her because she felt very strongly about doing everything all natural without drugs. She ultimately decided to be induced for a variety of factors including the fact that she was on penicillin and her extreme fatigue. At 10:00 am they broke her water, which I was in the room for. I think this was the first moment that I truly recognized and appreciated the physical pain she would be going through to push this baby into the world. Shelby’s family was there throughout the day and we spent a lot of time just hanging out, chatting in the waiting room. Never once did we feel like the outsiders, but instead felt like part of the family. Everything just felt comfortable, and we are so thankful for our special bond with not only Shelby but her entire family.
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| Waiting to meet Eliza |
At around 4 pm her contractions hadn’t really picked up so they gave her pitocin. This was what Shelby was most trying to avoid because pitocin increases the possibility that you will ask for an epidural (which she was committed to not having). After 20 minutes she was really feeling the pain pick up. She actively labored for 4.5 hours until she started pushing. During this time of active labor they worked on turning baby since she was sunny side up. The positions seemed to get progressively more painful. Shelby’s self control and will were amazing to me. She never once mentioned the epidural or pain meds. In the room there was myself and Jonathan, Barb, Violet, and Shelby’s 2 sisters Heather and Anna. During the time Shelby was actively laboring Jonathan spent a portion of the time facing the window to afford Shelby some privacy, although I think she was past the point of caring. He said it sounded like a horror film because he could only hear what was going on and couldn’t see anything. The baby turned around 8:30 and that is when Shelby started pushing. Jonathan stood behind her left side and I got to sit basically on the foot of the bed next to the doctor. Barb and Violet were on both sides of her. Anna and Heather were standing behind the doctor and I. Watching Shelby push was like watching a warrior go to battle. I was in total awe of her determination and control. At one point the doctor told her to stop yelling so loud because she was wasting valuable energy, and Shelby listened. I have no idea how she was able to endure the pain, let alone take direction. Jonathan later talked about this being a very emotional time for him, witnessing Shelby’s extreme physical pain knowing she could’ve avoided the pain but instead gave life. Eliza Grace was born at 9:00 pm on April 5th. I was able to watch Eliza come into this world and it was the best moment of my life. Thank you Shelby, for wanting us in that room and for giving us yet another gift, the gift of being present at her birth. I held my daughter, skin to skin and fell in love. The whole family was in the room after she was born (Craig and Spencer had been waiting in the hallway during labor and pushing). At one point I looked over at Jonathan to see him overcome with tears and Craig fiercely hugging him, an image I will always remember.
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| Moments after she was born |
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| A pic with Dr. Mary Williams who delivered Eliza |
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| Eliza Grace Carnehl born April 5th 9pm 7lbs 9oz 19.5 in. long |
We spent the next 2 days at the hospital caring for Eliza, spending time with Shelby and her family and basically just enjoying ourselves. Peggy and Dan were able to come visit us on Sunday, which we are so thankful for. Having a piece of our family from home there made everything feel more real somehow. We had a picnic in the waiting room on Sunday night with Craig, Barb and Shelby of brats and beers Craig brought from home. It’s one of Jonathan’s favorite memories from the hospital. We knew we would spend time bonding with our daughter, but what we didn't expect was the intense bond we would form with our new family. Leaving the hospital was painful, so much more painful that we could’ve imagined. Saying goodbye to Shelby was the hardest of all. Each day since has gotten easier, and we look forward to seeing our new extended family soon. Eliza has an overabundance of love and family in her life and we are so thankful for it.
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| Auntie Heather |
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| Auntie Peggy |
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| Uncle Spencer and Auntie Anna |
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| Grandpa Craig and Grandma Barb |
Thank you God for Eliza Grace. Thank you for Shelby and her unending selflessness and for giving Eliza life. We praise you for your grace, love and abundance of gifts you’ve poured out on us. Most importantly we pray that Eliza grows to know you and have a relationship with you. Thank you.
Amen.
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